Jacob (yak_boy) wrote,

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Purple Prose All Through My Brain

Just when you thought there couldn't be a writing challenge any more wanky than NaNoWriMo1, Answers.com (who?) bring you The Answers.com Creative Writing Challenge.

The object of this little excercise is to write a piece of creative writing that includes their list of words and phrases (one phrase, actually). Sounds pretty standard, until you get into the words they want you to use:

"a lick and a promise"

Sounds tittilating, and I'm sure I could use the phrase to good effect, no problem so far.


Okay, getting a little wordy, but these are all relatively familiar words. It would be a massive struggle to get these into a poem, but I don't think I'd have too much trouble with a short story.


Huh? None of these are words I have ever used, and I had to look up the meanings of all of them (although I had some idea what semilunar might mean). Now, I suspect this is half the point of the contest, since you have to make these words hyperlinks in your story that point to the Answers.com page for each word (the site seems to be a kind of highly commercialised online dictionary).

Using big words in your writing, so that it looks like you had the thesaurus open while you wrote, is a clear sign of an abject amateur. It's bad writing, plain and simple, because if you have to look up the words to write it, sure as shit your reader will have to look them up to read them. And, of course, the reader is just as likely to say "fuck it" and go read something else. So, having a writing competition that forces its contestants to use horribly obscure words is sheer stupidity, and anyone that thinks that kind of writing is clever deserves not to have anything they write ever read all the way through.

1. To be honest, I don't really give a toss one way or the other about NaNo (other than thinking it hilarious that the creators were short-sighted enough to use the term "National" and stubborn enough to refuse to change it when it became obvious it had gone global). Anyway, if you want to write only during one month of the year and call yourself a writer, go ahead. You probably deserve the title more than I do, anyway.
Tags: words
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